'TWAS A NIGHT IN THE HOSPITAL

As I lay here in the wee hours of the morning, I was inspired by the Christmas Spirit not to flip out on the next person to wake me up. But rather make lemonade with the proverbial lemons I have been handed. I am going to make comedy out of the tragedy of constantly being woken up every chance the staff gets. So without further ado, and in keeping with the Christmas Spirit, I present to you:

'TWAS A NIGHT IN THE HOSPITAL

'Twas a night in the hospital, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse,
The IVs were hung on their poles with care,
In hopes that good news would soon be there,
The patients were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of new cures danced in their heads,
With compression stockings on, and Pjs from the Gap,
I had just settled down for a much needed nap,
When out in the hall there arose such a clatter,
I sat up in bed to see whose lip was about to be fatter,
The door flew open, hit the wall with a thud,
Whoever this is, their name is now mud,
The lights flew on without a fair warning,
“Wake up, Wake up, it’s almost morning“,
Its 4am by the clock on the wall,
Please dash away, dash away, dash away all,
Without a word, she went straight to work,
Handed me my pills, this nurse is a real jerk,
Now as it happens, I’m wide awake,
Man, these pills really make me shake,
She turns on a dime, I never got her name,
Just my old crotchety nurse, such a shame,
Before she slams the door on her way out,
She turns one last time and gives a quick shout,
Smirking in my doorway, not yet out of sight,
“Good luck getting back to sleep honey,
Have a great night!”

I hope you enjoyed it, I sure enjoyed writing it. It really helped get some frustrations out. Well, I butchered a well known Christmas poem for my own selfish reasons. Does that exempt me from my Christmas Spirit Award? Nah, I am keeping it.